Deviled Eggs Without the Mayo= Magic in Your Mouth

So lately I have found myself a little stressed out with trying to find time to blog, work a full time job (that includes planning the catering for weddings that are all going to take over my life starting next month), take care of my home, keep up with some kind of fitness routine that leaves my ass cheeks free of dimples, and have a tiny bit of free time to just... hang out.  Not the case lately.  So yesterday has been in the works for 2 weeks: I purposefully had planned a day of only partial work and a lot of fun.  I knew it had to include cocktails and Mario Kart, and it happened to be that yesterday was also Zombie Jesus Day.  What's something you must take part in on the day of the risen Zombie Jesus?  Deviled eggs.  Yessiree, nothing screams Easter like those fantastic little half moons of paprika dusted heaven.  (Plus, they're awesome if you're on the Paleo diet, like myself, which is something I'll have to blog about later.)  It's pretty frequent that I toot the horn of old school, kitschy kitchen favorites like lil' smokies and green bean casserole and of course, deviled eggs SO fall in that category.  They're just too good to make fun of.

My dilemma yesterday was making them without mayonnaise.  Yes, "Mayonnaise" is the title of one of my favorite Smashing Pumpkins songs, but it is NOT one of my favorite foods   I find it pretty repulsive, all jiggly and strange-smelling.  Zombie Jesus told me I needed to find a way to make deviled eggs sans mayo.  

A traditional deviled egg recipe calls for you to boil your eggs, cut them in half, scoop out the yolk, and mash it up with a bunch of mayonnaise, some mustard, salt, pepper, and whatever seasonings your cute little face desires.  Like this one- let's take a Paula Dean recipe, since she's a fan of the high-fat cooking  (And making one syllable words sound like 5 syllable words, bless her southern heart):

7 large eggs, peeled and boiled
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
salt and pepper to taste
paprika to garnish


Halve eggs lengthwise.  Remove yolks and place in bowl.


Mash yolks with fork and stir in mayonnaise, relish and mustard.  Add salt and pepper to taste.


Fill egg whites evenly with yolk mixture, garnish with paprika.

If you tried to make this recipe and just took out the mayo, it wouldn't work.  The egg yolks just get grainy when you mash them up- they need a binder.  A binder is any ingredient that holds the other ingredients together.  Like mayonnaise in a potato salad- it binds everything together so that your Aunt Sue can glop it all on your plate with one swift thwack of a wooden spoon every 4th of July.  I wonder what mayo binds up in your stomach?  Food for thought.

So if you take out the binder, you need to find something else that binds it instead.  And I think I tweaked it enough to make it work just about the same.   It paired perfectly with my Bloody Mary and Mario Kart.  Here's my version, free of the mayo and of the southern accent:

7 large eggs, peeled and boiled

1 raw egg white, or 3 tablespoons egg whites from the carton

1 1/2 tablespoon olive oil

1 1/2 tablespoons mustard

1 1/2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish

salt and pepper to taste

paprika to garnish

I just subbed out the mayo for an egg white and olive oil and upped the mustard.  And coming from someone who hates mustard too (I know- I'm SO weird!  I don't get it either, it's just how my taste buds like to be treated), these deviled eggs were awesome.  I also added some cayenne pepper to make them have a little bit of kick.  Feeling creative?  Try these ideas:

1. Add some chopped up brisket to your egg yolk mixture and then go find yourself a long-term lover with those bad boys.

2. Add some chopped up sun dried tomatoes to the egg yolk mixture, and top them with crumbled goat cheese and fresh basil.  It's your new dish for girls' night and they're all going to treat you like you just won Top Chef, except you don't have that annoying, overly-dramatic, TV-ready personality.

3.  Add a heavy dash of chili powder, fresh cilantro, and a little bit of cooked, finely chopped bacon.  Uh huh.  It's magic.  In your mouth.  You're welcome.